Attachment Parenting on Dr.Phil

Hm. So. I heard about this episode of Dr.Phil today from one of the parenting groups I am apart of on Facebook. I decided to look it up and I watched a few clips and I just laughed and shook my head. This is going to be controversial, so if you want to stop reading, there was your cue to exit now! :) As always, this is just the way MIKE AND I raise Miah, if you don't agree with it, thats totally fine. Every parent knows their child better than anyone else does!!

Everybody knows we practice attachment parenting. It's something I feel VERY strongly about, and something I believe 200% in!! As most of you know, EVERYTHING I do, I research. I like to find out EVERY BIT of information that I can about things (the good, the bad, and all that's in between!), then I make an informed decision on whether I agree with it and want to bring it to our lives. I am NOT the person who just practices parenting the same way I saw it practiced by my parents. Everything I do for Miah, is researched, looked into, and talked about with Mike. When I approach him about something, I bring him the information I found (this includes pros & cons, NOT just pros) and we discuss if whatever it is, is something that we'd like to bring into our family and do with Miah. We strongly believe she is OUR child, and was entrusted to US. As long as He & I agree with the way we parent and raise her (and it's not something that we as Christians feel is wrong from our beliefs) then we don't really care what others have to say about it. (Our mentality is, if you don't like the way we're doing things with her, have your own child and you can do things differently with them. Sounds harsh, but it's true.)

From the clips I saw on the Dr Phil show today, he seemed hell bent on telling the Mom who practices attachment parenting that she was wrong, and she's parenting incorrectly.  Here are the things/comments I saw on the show that i'd like to address from my perspective.


1) - AP Creates separation anxiety in children - This is something I do NOT believe AT ALL.  Hear me out!! - Miah wasn't left with anybody to babysit her until she was about 14 weeks old (because of her sleep schedule Mike and I were able to get a ton of alone time without having to leave the house) ... I remember being told constantly "You have to be away from her, she's going to have separation anxiety, she's going to be too attached to you, she's never going to go to anyone else" ... and I remember being really nervous thinking all these things would happen if I didn't leave her with someone else.... But it didn't feel right to leave her yet, and I didn't feel comfortable, so I trusted my instinct and we didn't. Throughout the last 18 months, we really haven't left Miah very much...When we do, it's only for 2-3 hours so it's not very much. I am a stay at home mom, so i'm with Miah 24/7. I do absolutely everything with her. Where I go, she goes. Because of that, I make myself scarce on some days/nights when Mike is home so that they can have their daddy/daughter time. But, when we do leave her with someone, she's 100% fine. She doesn't cry. We don't sneak out. We tell her we'll be back, we give kisses and hugs, wave bye bye, and we leave and she goes and plays. It's really not traumatic or upsetting to her at all. As rare as it is that I leave her, she doesn't have an issue with being away from me for a little while.  I believe she is secure, and trusts that Mama and Daddy are definitely coming back for her!

2) - A comment from a psychologist who is against AP -"Why do you always carry/wear your baby? Let them go be a kid!"  - Just because I carry or wear my daughter, doesn't mean she isn't a kid. SHE tells me when she wants to be held, and she tells me when she wants to get down. If the place were at isn't safe, she isn't allowed down. Otherwise, she holds the reigns!!! When my daughter wants to be picked up, she's picked up. I want her to know she's allowed to be close to us ANYTIME she would like to be.

3) - Let them cry it out so they learn independence! - I definitely don't believe this is right for Miah ...When asked about it, I try to explain it and this is the example I use:
If I was hysterically crying and Mike heard me but wasn't acknowledging me, or when he did, he came in, patted me on the back without saying anything, and then left....How the heck would I trust him??? I wouldn't. I would be FORCED to become independent because I would be alone left to calm myself down. But, would I trust Mike to take care of me or care about me? NOPE! This to me, makes perfect sense .Some people don't see it this way (and thats ok!!!) but we do, and crying it out isn't an option for Miss Miah and wont be with any other children we have!

4) Co-sleeping is damaging to the child - I've wrote about this before, so I wont say too much. But I don't think co-sleeping is damaging at all. I also don't think your child sleeping in a crib is damaging at all



I've done all of these things with Miah. She's only 18 months old, but she's a smart, healthy, thriving, funny, loving toddler who loves her Mama & Daddy! She doesn't have separation anxiety, and she isn't psychologically damaged. I believe everything we've done has worked for us, and Miah is a content and happy kid!!

"Eat! Eat! Eat!"

Please remember, this is just stuff we buy to keep in our house for her and this is her "normal,everyday" meals. She IS a kid, and she DOES get treats, But we don't let her go buck wild with eating everything, especially the things that have proven to be unhealthy and bad for you. She's never had a french fry before, and she probably wont ever have a "real" hot dog in her childhood. But those are OUR choices for her, and what WE believe is best for her. We would NEVER LOOK DOWN on someone for feeding their child differently than we do. WE are choosing to feed her this way because we feel that it is our responsibility to nourish her, and teach her to make healthy choices. If she has been raised on the healthy stuff, she will more than likely choose the healthy stuff on her own.When she's old enough to understand, we'll teach her WHY we feed her this way, and that food is meant to nourish us and make her healthy, but bad choices can make her sick and cause other problems, but that it's okay to enjoy the bad stuff in moderation! If one day as an adult she decides she hates healthy food and wants to eat chocolate cake everyday for breakfast, lunch and dinner, that's her choice, but Mike and I will feel good knowing WE did all we could and we taught her about healthy foods, and to make healthy choices. Mike and I still have A LOT to change in our own diets, but were getting there little by little with her as our tiny motivator! :) 


I get a lot of questions about how we feed Miah.  I thought i'd jot down for the day what she ate so you could see how I balance her meals, and what typical meals look like for her! We try very hard to balance her meals. We try to give her a variety of meat, dairy, carbs, fresh fruits & veggies so she's not eating too much of one thing in a day. The only exception to this is fruit & veggies... we allow her to have as many in a day as she'd like. (and no, too much fruit doesn't constipate her, i believe this has to do with the probiotics!)



Breakfast 
Milk (with probiotic dissolved in it)
Whole wheat pancakes with flax seed & blueberries. A little butter.

Morning Snack #1
Banana

Morning Snack #2
Dried fruit
Raisins

Lunch
Cottage Cheese
Fresh Fruit (Watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew, grapes)

Afternoon Snack #1
Triscuits & Laughing cow Garden vegetable cheese

Afternoon Snack #2
Dried peas & corn
Apple Chips

Dinner
Baked Chicken.
Mixed Veggies


Miah always drinks water and she has milk (Lactaid) 1-2x a day. She doesn't get any juice. The only exception to this, is when she's sick I'll juice my own orange juice, or i'll give her "simply orange" orange juice. She'll only have about 1/4 of a cup of juice though. Otherwise, all she drinks is water, and we keep that available to her all throughout the day. If I notice she is too busy playing and hasn't drank in awhile i'll hand her cup to her and encourage her to drink a little bit.

I've mentioned before, we buy organic. This is a personal choice for us. The important things we get organic are meats, dairy (as much as we can find!), and the dirty dozen produce. We have given up a lot of the processed stuff in order to give Miah the organic stuff. For us, it works.

Don't get me wrong, we have stuff on hand like boxed mac n cheese, or frozen chicken nuggets for when we run out of other stuff, or when im just plain feeling lazy and don't feel like being in the kitchen!

Other favorites for Miah are:
- Homemade mac n cheese (just whole wheat pasta with cheese and butter) very easy and the ingredients are simple.
- Homemade chicken nuggets ... they can then be frozen and heated in the oven so it's just as easy as store bought!
- Sweet potato, plain or with butter & cinnamon. (Tip: These do NOT need to be organic, as they are not sprayed. Regular potatoes are VERY high in pesticides and we buy those organic)
- Granola
- Popcorn (I'll buy indiana popcorn cinnamon & sugar and she loves it...the ingredients are very simple and it tastes great!)
- Stacy's cinnamon sugar pita chips
- Chamomile tea (She'll get this at night instead of Milk if she's sick or coughing a lot... we put some honey in it and a splash of milk...she enjoys it!)
- Toast (Whole wheat bread & butter)
- "Fries" (Which aren't really fries..but if you slice a potato very thin, coat it in olive oil, pepper, a little salt , rosemary and parmesean cheese, then bake it...it gets very crispy and "fry" like and she LOVES them!)
- Quinoa
- Kale chips (Just bake fresh kale with salt & pepper)
- Any sort of dried fruit. Dried Mango, and apple are her two favorites!


Hope this helps, and maybe gave you some other ideas on foods to feed your kiddo. It's always a challenge to find new, and healthy foods! If you have any suggestions on healthy foods that your toddler loves, please let me know, i'd love to find more things to give her!