Attachment Parenting on Dr.Phil

Hm. So. I heard about this episode of Dr.Phil today from one of the parenting groups I am apart of on Facebook. I decided to look it up and I watched a few clips and I just laughed and shook my head. This is going to be controversial, so if you want to stop reading, there was your cue to exit now! :) As always, this is just the way MIKE AND I raise Miah, if you don't agree with it, thats totally fine. Every parent knows their child better than anyone else does!!

Everybody knows we practice attachment parenting. It's something I feel VERY strongly about, and something I believe 200% in!! As most of you know, EVERYTHING I do, I research. I like to find out EVERY BIT of information that I can about things (the good, the bad, and all that's in between!), then I make an informed decision on whether I agree with it and want to bring it to our lives. I am NOT the person who just practices parenting the same way I saw it practiced by my parents. Everything I do for Miah, is researched, looked into, and talked about with Mike. When I approach him about something, I bring him the information I found (this includes pros & cons, NOT just pros) and we discuss if whatever it is, is something that we'd like to bring into our family and do with Miah. We strongly believe she is OUR child, and was entrusted to US. As long as He & I agree with the way we parent and raise her (and it's not something that we as Christians feel is wrong from our beliefs) then we don't really care what others have to say about it. (Our mentality is, if you don't like the way we're doing things with her, have your own child and you can do things differently with them. Sounds harsh, but it's true.)

From the clips I saw on the Dr Phil show today, he seemed hell bent on telling the Mom who practices attachment parenting that she was wrong, and she's parenting incorrectly.  Here are the things/comments I saw on the show that i'd like to address from my perspective.


1) - AP Creates separation anxiety in children - This is something I do NOT believe AT ALL.  Hear me out!! - Miah wasn't left with anybody to babysit her until she was about 14 weeks old (because of her sleep schedule Mike and I were able to get a ton of alone time without having to leave the house) ... I remember being told constantly "You have to be away from her, she's going to have separation anxiety, she's going to be too attached to you, she's never going to go to anyone else" ... and I remember being really nervous thinking all these things would happen if I didn't leave her with someone else.... But it didn't feel right to leave her yet, and I didn't feel comfortable, so I trusted my instinct and we didn't. Throughout the last 18 months, we really haven't left Miah very much...When we do, it's only for 2-3 hours so it's not very much. I am a stay at home mom, so i'm with Miah 24/7. I do absolutely everything with her. Where I go, she goes. Because of that, I make myself scarce on some days/nights when Mike is home so that they can have their daddy/daughter time. But, when we do leave her with someone, she's 100% fine. She doesn't cry. We don't sneak out. We tell her we'll be back, we give kisses and hugs, wave bye bye, and we leave and she goes and plays. It's really not traumatic or upsetting to her at all. As rare as it is that I leave her, she doesn't have an issue with being away from me for a little while.  I believe she is secure, and trusts that Mama and Daddy are definitely coming back for her!

2) - A comment from a psychologist who is against AP -"Why do you always carry/wear your baby? Let them go be a kid!"  - Just because I carry or wear my daughter, doesn't mean she isn't a kid. SHE tells me when she wants to be held, and she tells me when she wants to get down. If the place were at isn't safe, she isn't allowed down. Otherwise, she holds the reigns!!! When my daughter wants to be picked up, she's picked up. I want her to know she's allowed to be close to us ANYTIME she would like to be.

3) - Let them cry it out so they learn independence! - I definitely don't believe this is right for Miah ...When asked about it, I try to explain it and this is the example I use:
If I was hysterically crying and Mike heard me but wasn't acknowledging me, or when he did, he came in, patted me on the back without saying anything, and then left....How the heck would I trust him??? I wouldn't. I would be FORCED to become independent because I would be alone left to calm myself down. But, would I trust Mike to take care of me or care about me? NOPE! This to me, makes perfect sense .Some people don't see it this way (and thats ok!!!) but we do, and crying it out isn't an option for Miss Miah and wont be with any other children we have!

4) Co-sleeping is damaging to the child - I've wrote about this before, so I wont say too much. But I don't think co-sleeping is damaging at all. I also don't think your child sleeping in a crib is damaging at all



I've done all of these things with Miah. She's only 18 months old, but she's a smart, healthy, thriving, funny, loving toddler who loves her Mama & Daddy! She doesn't have separation anxiety, and she isn't psychologically damaged. I believe everything we've done has worked for us, and Miah is a content and happy kid!!