Attachment Parenting is NOT..............

MY DISCLAIMER AS WITH EVERY PARENTING POST:

YOU - ARE - THE - MOM. YOU FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS, AND LET ME FOLLOW MINE. I AM NOT IN ANY WAY STATING THAT IF YOU DO ANY OF THE FOLLOWING YOU ARE RIGHT, AND
I AM IN NO WAY STATING THAT IF YOU DO ANY OF THE FOLLOWING THAT YOU ARE WRONG. I AM SHARING MY THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, AND BELIEFS. I AM ALLOWING YOU INTO MY
MIND SPACE, IT'S A CRAZY STRANGE PLACE TO BE WITH TOPICS YOU MAY DISAGREE WITH. PROCEED WITH CAUTION DEAR FRIENDS :)


Attachment Parenting. Ah. What a dangerous topic. Anytime I share with someone that we practice attachment parenting I can almost guarentee a blank stare
for a few seconds, a subtle eye roll, or (my personal favorite) a snarky comment. The reactions i've recieved for the past 2 years made me realize that AP is
a sorely misunderstood practice. I have been wanting to write about this for quite awhile but was a little fearful of the reactions (or rather, backlash)
that we would recieve. Ya know, because we are ruining our daughter and all! (Okay okay, that was MY only snarky comment for the rest of this post...maybe)

Attachment parenting is something we deeply believe in. For us it is NOT some new fangled trend that we use to look like hippies and make peace with our
inner child. I only say that because i've met a lot of attachment parents, from all different walks of life, and to some, this is a trend, with rules, and
standards. AP is NOT that. Let me say right now that attachment parenting has NO rules and it does not look the same from person to person. Below I listed
exactly what AP is. (This list is from the book, "Beyond the sling")



- A belief that babies can not be spoiled, do not manipulate, and seek to be understood.

- A belief that Western and “modern” conventional notions of baby training are limited, parent-centered to a fault, and at the least, worth questioning.

- A desire to seek out opportunities for babies and children to be themselves and grow at their own pace rather than conform to society’s notions of what babies and children “should” do and when they do those things.

- A faith that children are the way they are for a specific reason and that individual differences need individual care.

- A deep notion that punishment and physical force are not the way to discipline; rather that the principles of Gentle Discipline are valuable, helpful, and ideal



I feel that this list PEFECTLY sums up what AP is and what we believe in raising Miah. Personally, I do not understand why AP has a "name" to it, isn't going
with your mommy instinct just called PARENTING? It really annoys me that I even classify myself as an Attachment parent but it is what it is! We didn't
do half of the things you're "supposed to do" when you're an attachment parent. I didn't have a natural birth (and i truly do not desire to LOL), I didn't
breastfeed past 1 month (Although I would of really liked to! next time!), I didn't practice elimination communication (I didn't even know what it was until
Miah was 1! and I don't think i'll ever do it), I didn't cloth diaper the whole time. The list goes on. To be honest, I didn't even know I believed in
half of this until I held Miah for the first time! I KNEW without a doubt I did not believe in spanking, never have, never will. But I didn't think much of
the "Cry it out" thing, I just thought that's how you got your baby to sleep! I thought holding my baby too much would spoil her, and I certainly did NOT
believe in cosleeping! No no no, "she will be in her own room by the time she's 4 months!" I would say. MAN. Did I get hit with reality when I had her and
my mommy instincts kicked in!! My mommy instincts said "Hold her, she needs to be close to you, you cannot spoil a baby who just wants to be close to her
mama" .. and from there, I obeyed my instincts. I got a lot of flack in the process, but my mommy instincts were NOT something someone else controlled, they
were MY God given instincts on how to raise and properly care for MY child, how could anyone possibly argue with that??? I didn't even know what I was doing
was labeled as "attachment parenting"...until I started researching it (as i do with almost everything I have questions about lol). I really felt understood
once I connected with other Attachment parenting mommies who encouraged me through everything.

One of the things that people would give me the hardest time
about was co-sleeping. MAN, if you want to start a fight just tell people you co-sleep with your baby, THAT (for whatever reason) pushes some buttons!! I
really don't know why, after all, are YOU sleeping in the bed with us? Are YOU waking up in the middle of the night with my child who hated her crib and
slept better nuzzled into her mama? I feel like society pressures children to hit milestones at a certain time (or best of all, faster than everyone elses
slow child!! mwahah) and pressures children to grow up WAY too quickly. WHY does my 3 month old need to learn how to "Self soothe"? Seriously, 3 months old
and you're going to tell me that my child needs to learn how to handle her emotions and soothe herself. REALLY???????? We did not do "Cry it out" with Miah
and she's now 2 years and 3 months with normal, healthy emotions. I'm 28 years old, and I STILL have a hard time handling my emotions (As does EVERY SINGLE
SOLITARY WOMAN I KNOW ON THE FACE OF THIS PLANET) .. my job as Miah's mom is to nuture her emotions, help her learn as she grows WHAT she is feeling, my job
is to be there to listen, and help her sort out the very very big and scary feelings that kids have and to teach her how to properly handle her feelings.
When I say properly handle her feelings, I mean teaching her that hitting someone who makes you angry is NOT okay, making someone feel bad because she feels
bad is NOT okay, taking her anger out on our animals is NOT okay, etc.


I know many people who do not do things the way we do, and That is perfectly okay! My goal in writing about this is to hopefully increase tolerance a little
bit for this style of parenting that seems to be oh so controversial so that the next mom who brings up the fact that they are an AP doesn't have to be
subjected to the little eye rolls, or snarky comments! I hope people don't look at it as a trend or fad, and I hope moms and moms to be really
think about the way we were designed as human beings and really LISTEN to that motherly instinct that is instilled in them when they become moms. Don't let
other people tell you how to raise your child, you WILL regret it. Don't think you know everything just because you've had a lot of experience with kids
because it ALL changes when you become a mom, and remember NO 2 kids are the same, nuture their individuality and let it blossom!!

Happy Parenting :)

Gentle !

Well, in 5 days our little love is going to be TWO! Wow! Time has definitely flown. A LOT has changed in two years, that's for sure. We're coming up on, what people refer to as "the terrible two's". I don't like referring to them as "terrible" because it's kind of already setting the kid up for failure....but I will admit, at about 23 months Miah's strong willed nature came out more and more!! Miah knows what she wants, when she wants it, and will settle for nothing less. It's a WONDERFUL quality that I love about her, but at 23 months, it's pretty tough on the parents!! Lol.

We practice gentle parenting, so we do not hit, spank, and we try not to yell (but it is a constant battle for us, as it's natural to us! But it is something we work on everyday, and we are trying to fix) We DO discipline. A lot of people think because we don't spank, we don't discipline. To discipline means to teach or train. We definitely do that in our home. Miah does have consequences for her actions. If she throws something she's not supposed to throw, it's taken away. If she tries to go down stairs and doesn't listen to me when I ask her to come up, she's put in her play pen for a "time in" (more on that in a minute), if we're in a store and she refuses to hold me or daddy's hand or she touches things after we ask her to stop, she's picked up and either carried or put in the cart and not allowed to walk anymore. We talk to her a lot, explain things, and redirect.

Like I said above, we use "time in". Time out i'm sure you're familiar with. It's where the child is sent to a corner or a designated spot alone for a set amount of time. I don't like the concept of time out for little ones because I feel it alienates them, and makes them feel that because they were bad they aren't deserving of being around their loved ones. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Instead, we choose to use time-in. We remove Miah from the situation (whatever she's doing at the time) and sit with her on the couch, or on the floor, with her in our lap, and we talk to her and redirect her. If she goes in the playpen for a time in, i stay next to the playpen (it is in our living room..i dont walk away from it) and wait until she calms down, then tell her that what she was doing wasn't acceptable, and explain how we behave. It has so far worked very very well for her.

I think the most important thing we remember as parents is that our kids are allowed to have bad moods/bad days. They are allowed to feel sad, angry, mad, etc. No way of disciplining is 100 proof. The kids will have bad days, angry feelings, and emotions. I think people forget that kids are people too, not robots meant to behave perfectly all the time. I WANT Miah to express her emotions and feel free to just FEEL! I want her to know she's loved regardless of her mood...I want her to know she's accepted whether she's happy or grumpy at that moment. As she gets older, I want to teach her how to control her emotions...obviously as a 2 year old I don't expect her to control her emotions. Kids that age are very impulsive and don't understand their feelings yet. But I strive to teach Miah how to properly handle her feelings. I want her to know it is okay to have bad days though, but that taking it out on others is not an option. I want her to know that feeling sad sometimes out of the blue is a normal girl thing, and it happens to us all.

Gentle parenting is something Mike and I have decided upon, and committed to. It is a way of discipline we feel is effective, and right for our family. We want to lead Miah by example, and I don't feel that spanking her, then trying to tell her not to hit other people would do anything but cause confusion. I don't understand spanking and don't know that I ever will, but I never want anyone to think we're judging them on their methods. Some of my best friends spank, It's their choice and we really don't care one way or the other. I also don't want to be judged on our methods, and be told they wont work because we're not spanking. I don't think that could be further from the truth.

I just wanted to share this to share how we handle certain issues with Miah, and show that not spanking doesn't equal not disciplining.

Spring/summer eating!

Ahh spring is right around the corner. It can't come quick enough either! I'm done with the cold!!

Along with spring comes different food choices! For us it means a lot of lighter meals. Lots of salads and lots of greens, and of course lots of fresh, juicy fruit!!

It also means more playing outside which means more water consumption!! I've touched on this on Facebook but one of our favorite drinks during spring / summer is our homemade flavored water. There is nothing tastier and more refreshing then throwing some fresh herbs and fruit into a pitcher of water and letting it absorb the flavor. It's a nice change from regular water, but doesn't have the sugar and artificial colorings and preservatives that juice or sports drinks too. Miah can drink as much as she wants and I don't have to worry about a sugar rush, or diluting it.

Some of our favorite combos include :
- Fresh oranges and frozen blueberries.
- cucumber , mint , and lemon.
- mint, basil, cucumber, lemon and lime
- grapefruit and orange
- lemon and lime

We also enjoy breaking out or juicer and making fresh oj, fresh apple juice or fresh grapefruit juice. We get adventurous and mix flavors but mostly it's just pure apple, orange or grapefruit. We don't do this everyday but it makes for a great afternoon snack/pick me up after nap time :)


As I said our meals are typically lighter in the spring. Well do a lot of salads with grilled chicken. Ive been adding alfalfa sprouts for an extra kick of nutrition! Miah loves salads but lately She has been eating chick peas , tomato and alfalfa sprouts with a little dressing on it and she loves that. One of our favorite lunch salads is avocado, tomato, pepper, salt and lime. YUM! Sometimes we add quinoa but other times we leave it as is and wow it's scrumptious !!

Spring time is great to do a little "spring cleaning" in your pantry and try to eat lighter, healthier meals instead of the hearty winter ones! Fresh fruits and veggies are ALWAYS a Fabulous option and if you buy In bulk you can usually save some $$ on it (just eat the produce fast or juice it or make flavored water from it!!)

Hope you have a great spring and are able to get outside a lot :)