Attachment Parenting is NOT..............

MY DISCLAIMER AS WITH EVERY PARENTING POST:

YOU - ARE - THE - MOM. YOU FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS, AND LET ME FOLLOW MINE. I AM NOT IN ANY WAY STATING THAT IF YOU DO ANY OF THE FOLLOWING YOU ARE RIGHT, AND
I AM IN NO WAY STATING THAT IF YOU DO ANY OF THE FOLLOWING THAT YOU ARE WRONG. I AM SHARING MY THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, AND BELIEFS. I AM ALLOWING YOU INTO MY
MIND SPACE, IT'S A CRAZY STRANGE PLACE TO BE WITH TOPICS YOU MAY DISAGREE WITH. PROCEED WITH CAUTION DEAR FRIENDS :)


Attachment Parenting. Ah. What a dangerous topic. Anytime I share with someone that we practice attachment parenting I can almost guarentee a blank stare
for a few seconds, a subtle eye roll, or (my personal favorite) a snarky comment. The reactions i've recieved for the past 2 years made me realize that AP is
a sorely misunderstood practice. I have been wanting to write about this for quite awhile but was a little fearful of the reactions (or rather, backlash)
that we would recieve. Ya know, because we are ruining our daughter and all! (Okay okay, that was MY only snarky comment for the rest of this post...maybe)

Attachment parenting is something we deeply believe in. For us it is NOT some new fangled trend that we use to look like hippies and make peace with our
inner child. I only say that because i've met a lot of attachment parents, from all different walks of life, and to some, this is a trend, with rules, and
standards. AP is NOT that. Let me say right now that attachment parenting has NO rules and it does not look the same from person to person. Below I listed
exactly what AP is. (This list is from the book, "Beyond the sling")



- A belief that babies can not be spoiled, do not manipulate, and seek to be understood.

- A belief that Western and “modern” conventional notions of baby training are limited, parent-centered to a fault, and at the least, worth questioning.

- A desire to seek out opportunities for babies and children to be themselves and grow at their own pace rather than conform to society’s notions of what babies and children “should” do and when they do those things.

- A faith that children are the way they are for a specific reason and that individual differences need individual care.

- A deep notion that punishment and physical force are not the way to discipline; rather that the principles of Gentle Discipline are valuable, helpful, and ideal



I feel that this list PEFECTLY sums up what AP is and what we believe in raising Miah. Personally, I do not understand why AP has a "name" to it, isn't going
with your mommy instinct just called PARENTING? It really annoys me that I even classify myself as an Attachment parent but it is what it is! We didn't
do half of the things you're "supposed to do" when you're an attachment parent. I didn't have a natural birth (and i truly do not desire to LOL), I didn't
breastfeed past 1 month (Although I would of really liked to! next time!), I didn't practice elimination communication (I didn't even know what it was until
Miah was 1! and I don't think i'll ever do it), I didn't cloth diaper the whole time. The list goes on. To be honest, I didn't even know I believed in
half of this until I held Miah for the first time! I KNEW without a doubt I did not believe in spanking, never have, never will. But I didn't think much of
the "Cry it out" thing, I just thought that's how you got your baby to sleep! I thought holding my baby too much would spoil her, and I certainly did NOT
believe in cosleeping! No no no, "she will be in her own room by the time she's 4 months!" I would say. MAN. Did I get hit with reality when I had her and
my mommy instincts kicked in!! My mommy instincts said "Hold her, she needs to be close to you, you cannot spoil a baby who just wants to be close to her
mama" .. and from there, I obeyed my instincts. I got a lot of flack in the process, but my mommy instincts were NOT something someone else controlled, they
were MY God given instincts on how to raise and properly care for MY child, how could anyone possibly argue with that??? I didn't even know what I was doing
was labeled as "attachment parenting"...until I started researching it (as i do with almost everything I have questions about lol). I really felt understood
once I connected with other Attachment parenting mommies who encouraged me through everything.

One of the things that people would give me the hardest time
about was co-sleeping. MAN, if you want to start a fight just tell people you co-sleep with your baby, THAT (for whatever reason) pushes some buttons!! I
really don't know why, after all, are YOU sleeping in the bed with us? Are YOU waking up in the middle of the night with my child who hated her crib and
slept better nuzzled into her mama? I feel like society pressures children to hit milestones at a certain time (or best of all, faster than everyone elses
slow child!! mwahah) and pressures children to grow up WAY too quickly. WHY does my 3 month old need to learn how to "Self soothe"? Seriously, 3 months old
and you're going to tell me that my child needs to learn how to handle her emotions and soothe herself. REALLY???????? We did not do "Cry it out" with Miah
and she's now 2 years and 3 months with normal, healthy emotions. I'm 28 years old, and I STILL have a hard time handling my emotions (As does EVERY SINGLE
SOLITARY WOMAN I KNOW ON THE FACE OF THIS PLANET) .. my job as Miah's mom is to nuture her emotions, help her learn as she grows WHAT she is feeling, my job
is to be there to listen, and help her sort out the very very big and scary feelings that kids have and to teach her how to properly handle her feelings.
When I say properly handle her feelings, I mean teaching her that hitting someone who makes you angry is NOT okay, making someone feel bad because she feels
bad is NOT okay, taking her anger out on our animals is NOT okay, etc.


I know many people who do not do things the way we do, and That is perfectly okay! My goal in writing about this is to hopefully increase tolerance a little
bit for this style of parenting that seems to be oh so controversial so that the next mom who brings up the fact that they are an AP doesn't have to be
subjected to the little eye rolls, or snarky comments! I hope people don't look at it as a trend or fad, and I hope moms and moms to be really
think about the way we were designed as human beings and really LISTEN to that motherly instinct that is instilled in them when they become moms. Don't let
other people tell you how to raise your child, you WILL regret it. Don't think you know everything just because you've had a lot of experience with kids
because it ALL changes when you become a mom, and remember NO 2 kids are the same, nuture their individuality and let it blossom!!

Happy Parenting :)

Gentle !

Well, in 5 days our little love is going to be TWO! Wow! Time has definitely flown. A LOT has changed in two years, that's for sure. We're coming up on, what people refer to as "the terrible two's". I don't like referring to them as "terrible" because it's kind of already setting the kid up for failure....but I will admit, at about 23 months Miah's strong willed nature came out more and more!! Miah knows what she wants, when she wants it, and will settle for nothing less. It's a WONDERFUL quality that I love about her, but at 23 months, it's pretty tough on the parents!! Lol.

We practice gentle parenting, so we do not hit, spank, and we try not to yell (but it is a constant battle for us, as it's natural to us! But it is something we work on everyday, and we are trying to fix) We DO discipline. A lot of people think because we don't spank, we don't discipline. To discipline means to teach or train. We definitely do that in our home. Miah does have consequences for her actions. If she throws something she's not supposed to throw, it's taken away. If she tries to go down stairs and doesn't listen to me when I ask her to come up, she's put in her play pen for a "time in" (more on that in a minute), if we're in a store and she refuses to hold me or daddy's hand or she touches things after we ask her to stop, she's picked up and either carried or put in the cart and not allowed to walk anymore. We talk to her a lot, explain things, and redirect.

Like I said above, we use "time in". Time out i'm sure you're familiar with. It's where the child is sent to a corner or a designated spot alone for a set amount of time. I don't like the concept of time out for little ones because I feel it alienates them, and makes them feel that because they were bad they aren't deserving of being around their loved ones. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Instead, we choose to use time-in. We remove Miah from the situation (whatever she's doing at the time) and sit with her on the couch, or on the floor, with her in our lap, and we talk to her and redirect her. If she goes in the playpen for a time in, i stay next to the playpen (it is in our living room..i dont walk away from it) and wait until she calms down, then tell her that what she was doing wasn't acceptable, and explain how we behave. It has so far worked very very well for her.

I think the most important thing we remember as parents is that our kids are allowed to have bad moods/bad days. They are allowed to feel sad, angry, mad, etc. No way of disciplining is 100 proof. The kids will have bad days, angry feelings, and emotions. I think people forget that kids are people too, not robots meant to behave perfectly all the time. I WANT Miah to express her emotions and feel free to just FEEL! I want her to know she's loved regardless of her mood...I want her to know she's accepted whether she's happy or grumpy at that moment. As she gets older, I want to teach her how to control her emotions...obviously as a 2 year old I don't expect her to control her emotions. Kids that age are very impulsive and don't understand their feelings yet. But I strive to teach Miah how to properly handle her feelings. I want her to know it is okay to have bad days though, but that taking it out on others is not an option. I want her to know that feeling sad sometimes out of the blue is a normal girl thing, and it happens to us all.

Gentle parenting is something Mike and I have decided upon, and committed to. It is a way of discipline we feel is effective, and right for our family. We want to lead Miah by example, and I don't feel that spanking her, then trying to tell her not to hit other people would do anything but cause confusion. I don't understand spanking and don't know that I ever will, but I never want anyone to think we're judging them on their methods. Some of my best friends spank, It's their choice and we really don't care one way or the other. I also don't want to be judged on our methods, and be told they wont work because we're not spanking. I don't think that could be further from the truth.

I just wanted to share this to share how we handle certain issues with Miah, and show that not spanking doesn't equal not disciplining.

Spring/summer eating!

Ahh spring is right around the corner. It can't come quick enough either! I'm done with the cold!!

Along with spring comes different food choices! For us it means a lot of lighter meals. Lots of salads and lots of greens, and of course lots of fresh, juicy fruit!!

It also means more playing outside which means more water consumption!! I've touched on this on Facebook but one of our favorite drinks during spring / summer is our homemade flavored water. There is nothing tastier and more refreshing then throwing some fresh herbs and fruit into a pitcher of water and letting it absorb the flavor. It's a nice change from regular water, but doesn't have the sugar and artificial colorings and preservatives that juice or sports drinks too. Miah can drink as much as she wants and I don't have to worry about a sugar rush, or diluting it.

Some of our favorite combos include :
- Fresh oranges and frozen blueberries.
- cucumber , mint , and lemon.
- mint, basil, cucumber, lemon and lime
- grapefruit and orange
- lemon and lime

We also enjoy breaking out or juicer and making fresh oj, fresh apple juice or fresh grapefruit juice. We get adventurous and mix flavors but mostly it's just pure apple, orange or grapefruit. We don't do this everyday but it makes for a great afternoon snack/pick me up after nap time :)


As I said our meals are typically lighter in the spring. Well do a lot of salads with grilled chicken. Ive been adding alfalfa sprouts for an extra kick of nutrition! Miah loves salads but lately She has been eating chick peas , tomato and alfalfa sprouts with a little dressing on it and she loves that. One of our favorite lunch salads is avocado, tomato, pepper, salt and lime. YUM! Sometimes we add quinoa but other times we leave it as is and wow it's scrumptious !!

Spring time is great to do a little "spring cleaning" in your pantry and try to eat lighter, healthier meals instead of the hearty winter ones! Fresh fruits and veggies are ALWAYS a Fabulous option and if you buy In bulk you can usually save some $$ on it (just eat the produce fast or juice it or make flavored water from it!!)

Hope you have a great spring and are able to get outside a lot :)

Attachment Parenting on Dr.Phil

Hm. So. I heard about this episode of Dr.Phil today from one of the parenting groups I am apart of on Facebook. I decided to look it up and I watched a few clips and I just laughed and shook my head. This is going to be controversial, so if you want to stop reading, there was your cue to exit now! :) As always, this is just the way MIKE AND I raise Miah, if you don't agree with it, thats totally fine. Every parent knows their child better than anyone else does!!

Everybody knows we practice attachment parenting. It's something I feel VERY strongly about, and something I believe 200% in!! As most of you know, EVERYTHING I do, I research. I like to find out EVERY BIT of information that I can about things (the good, the bad, and all that's in between!), then I make an informed decision on whether I agree with it and want to bring it to our lives. I am NOT the person who just practices parenting the same way I saw it practiced by my parents. Everything I do for Miah, is researched, looked into, and talked about with Mike. When I approach him about something, I bring him the information I found (this includes pros & cons, NOT just pros) and we discuss if whatever it is, is something that we'd like to bring into our family and do with Miah. We strongly believe she is OUR child, and was entrusted to US. As long as He & I agree with the way we parent and raise her (and it's not something that we as Christians feel is wrong from our beliefs) then we don't really care what others have to say about it. (Our mentality is, if you don't like the way we're doing things with her, have your own child and you can do things differently with them. Sounds harsh, but it's true.)

From the clips I saw on the Dr Phil show today, he seemed hell bent on telling the Mom who practices attachment parenting that she was wrong, and she's parenting incorrectly.  Here are the things/comments I saw on the show that i'd like to address from my perspective.


1) - AP Creates separation anxiety in children - This is something I do NOT believe AT ALL.  Hear me out!! - Miah wasn't left with anybody to babysit her until she was about 14 weeks old (because of her sleep schedule Mike and I were able to get a ton of alone time without having to leave the house) ... I remember being told constantly "You have to be away from her, she's going to have separation anxiety, she's going to be too attached to you, she's never going to go to anyone else" ... and I remember being really nervous thinking all these things would happen if I didn't leave her with someone else.... But it didn't feel right to leave her yet, and I didn't feel comfortable, so I trusted my instinct and we didn't. Throughout the last 18 months, we really haven't left Miah very much...When we do, it's only for 2-3 hours so it's not very much. I am a stay at home mom, so i'm with Miah 24/7. I do absolutely everything with her. Where I go, she goes. Because of that, I make myself scarce on some days/nights when Mike is home so that they can have their daddy/daughter time. But, when we do leave her with someone, she's 100% fine. She doesn't cry. We don't sneak out. We tell her we'll be back, we give kisses and hugs, wave bye bye, and we leave and she goes and plays. It's really not traumatic or upsetting to her at all. As rare as it is that I leave her, she doesn't have an issue with being away from me for a little while.  I believe she is secure, and trusts that Mama and Daddy are definitely coming back for her!

2) - A comment from a psychologist who is against AP -"Why do you always carry/wear your baby? Let them go be a kid!"  - Just because I carry or wear my daughter, doesn't mean she isn't a kid. SHE tells me when she wants to be held, and she tells me when she wants to get down. If the place were at isn't safe, she isn't allowed down. Otherwise, she holds the reigns!!! When my daughter wants to be picked up, she's picked up. I want her to know she's allowed to be close to us ANYTIME she would like to be.

3) - Let them cry it out so they learn independence! - I definitely don't believe this is right for Miah ...When asked about it, I try to explain it and this is the example I use:
If I was hysterically crying and Mike heard me but wasn't acknowledging me, or when he did, he came in, patted me on the back without saying anything, and then left....How the heck would I trust him??? I wouldn't. I would be FORCED to become independent because I would be alone left to calm myself down. But, would I trust Mike to take care of me or care about me? NOPE! This to me, makes perfect sense .Some people don't see it this way (and thats ok!!!) but we do, and crying it out isn't an option for Miss Miah and wont be with any other children we have!

4) Co-sleeping is damaging to the child - I've wrote about this before, so I wont say too much. But I don't think co-sleeping is damaging at all. I also don't think your child sleeping in a crib is damaging at all



I've done all of these things with Miah. She's only 18 months old, but she's a smart, healthy, thriving, funny, loving toddler who loves her Mama & Daddy! She doesn't have separation anxiety, and she isn't psychologically damaged. I believe everything we've done has worked for us, and Miah is a content and happy kid!!

"Eat! Eat! Eat!"

Please remember, this is just stuff we buy to keep in our house for her and this is her "normal,everyday" meals. She IS a kid, and she DOES get treats, But we don't let her go buck wild with eating everything, especially the things that have proven to be unhealthy and bad for you. She's never had a french fry before, and she probably wont ever have a "real" hot dog in her childhood. But those are OUR choices for her, and what WE believe is best for her. We would NEVER LOOK DOWN on someone for feeding their child differently than we do. WE are choosing to feed her this way because we feel that it is our responsibility to nourish her, and teach her to make healthy choices. If she has been raised on the healthy stuff, she will more than likely choose the healthy stuff on her own.When she's old enough to understand, we'll teach her WHY we feed her this way, and that food is meant to nourish us and make her healthy, but bad choices can make her sick and cause other problems, but that it's okay to enjoy the bad stuff in moderation! If one day as an adult she decides she hates healthy food and wants to eat chocolate cake everyday for breakfast, lunch and dinner, that's her choice, but Mike and I will feel good knowing WE did all we could and we taught her about healthy foods, and to make healthy choices. Mike and I still have A LOT to change in our own diets, but were getting there little by little with her as our tiny motivator! :) 


I get a lot of questions about how we feed Miah.  I thought i'd jot down for the day what she ate so you could see how I balance her meals, and what typical meals look like for her! We try very hard to balance her meals. We try to give her a variety of meat, dairy, carbs, fresh fruits & veggies so she's not eating too much of one thing in a day. The only exception to this is fruit & veggies... we allow her to have as many in a day as she'd like. (and no, too much fruit doesn't constipate her, i believe this has to do with the probiotics!)



Breakfast 
Milk (with probiotic dissolved in it)
Whole wheat pancakes with flax seed & blueberries. A little butter.

Morning Snack #1
Banana

Morning Snack #2
Dried fruit
Raisins

Lunch
Cottage Cheese
Fresh Fruit (Watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew, grapes)

Afternoon Snack #1
Triscuits & Laughing cow Garden vegetable cheese

Afternoon Snack #2
Dried peas & corn
Apple Chips

Dinner
Baked Chicken.
Mixed Veggies


Miah always drinks water and she has milk (Lactaid) 1-2x a day. She doesn't get any juice. The only exception to this, is when she's sick I'll juice my own orange juice, or i'll give her "simply orange" orange juice. She'll only have about 1/4 of a cup of juice though. Otherwise, all she drinks is water, and we keep that available to her all throughout the day. If I notice she is too busy playing and hasn't drank in awhile i'll hand her cup to her and encourage her to drink a little bit.

I've mentioned before, we buy organic. This is a personal choice for us. The important things we get organic are meats, dairy (as much as we can find!), and the dirty dozen produce. We have given up a lot of the processed stuff in order to give Miah the organic stuff. For us, it works.

Don't get me wrong, we have stuff on hand like boxed mac n cheese, or frozen chicken nuggets for when we run out of other stuff, or when im just plain feeling lazy and don't feel like being in the kitchen!

Other favorites for Miah are:
- Homemade mac n cheese (just whole wheat pasta with cheese and butter) very easy and the ingredients are simple.
- Homemade chicken nuggets ... they can then be frozen and heated in the oven so it's just as easy as store bought!
- Sweet potato, plain or with butter & cinnamon. (Tip: These do NOT need to be organic, as they are not sprayed. Regular potatoes are VERY high in pesticides and we buy those organic)
- Granola
- Popcorn (I'll buy indiana popcorn cinnamon & sugar and she loves it...the ingredients are very simple and it tastes great!)
- Stacy's cinnamon sugar pita chips
- Chamomile tea (She'll get this at night instead of Milk if she's sick or coughing a lot... we put some honey in it and a splash of milk...she enjoys it!)
- Toast (Whole wheat bread & butter)
- "Fries" (Which aren't really fries..but if you slice a potato very thin, coat it in olive oil, pepper, a little salt , rosemary and parmesean cheese, then bake it...it gets very crispy and "fry" like and she LOVES them!)
- Quinoa
- Kale chips (Just bake fresh kale with salt & pepper)
- Any sort of dried fruit. Dried Mango, and apple are her two favorites!


Hope this helps, and maybe gave you some other ideas on foods to feed your kiddo. It's always a challenge to find new, and healthy foods! If you have any suggestions on healthy foods that your toddler loves, please let me know, i'd love to find more things to give her!

Homeopathic remedies to have on hand!

Here are a couple of homeopathic medicine we always have on hand for us & for Miah! Most of these remedies can be used for adults or children, but the doseage needs to be altered for kids! My chiropractor taught me that when it tells me that adults take 5 tablets, to lower the dose for Miah and give her 2 tablets. It's proven effective thus far! Most homeopathic medicine is side effect free and no risk of overdose!

Viburcol pediatric oral drops - This is basically a homeopathic version of Tylenol. It relieves fever, restlessness, inflammation, teething pain, ear ache, & headache. We LOVE this stuff, and it has worked great for Miah when she has fevers or teething pain!

Camilia - This is wonderful for teething pain, and irritability caused by teething. It is very calming because of the chamomilla in it!

Hylands Teething Tablets - Also excellent for teething! Please note that with homeopathic tablets, you should drop them into the cap of the bottle, and avoid touching them with your bare hands, as it can contaminate the product, and it can possibly lose it's potency. We drop them into the cap and give them to Miah through the cap!

Nux Vomica - So awesome for tummy discomfort!! It does everything, from treating nausea, heartburn, bloating from over eating, and helps with vomiting! It's okay for pregnancy too, so will be great for those preggers with morning sickness!!

Echinacea - There is some debate over echinacea and possible long term use side effects, but I LOVE this stuff!! When I feel a cold coming on, or when I am around people who are sick, I start taking this, and it knocks the illness out VERY quickly!!! I have a childrens version for Miah as well, and it knocked her most recent cold out a day after I gave it to her. LOVE this stuff, and I ALWAYS have it in my house!

Probiotics - This supports a healthy digestive system and also supports the immune system. Miah gets it everyday, and when we run out of it and she doesn't have it for a few days, we notice a HUGE difference in her stomach. She has  A LOT of gas when she doesn't take it (she has a lactose sensitivity) and wakes up at night with gas bubbles. When she has her probiotics though, she's fine. No painful gas, and can eat anything. Miah's never thrown up, or had diarrhea (other than when she was a newborn with the lactose sensitivity) and we contribute that to her always using her probiotics. We absolutely love this stuff, and are so glad we started Miah on it!!

Belladonna - Great for fevers, and migraines!!

Spongia Toasta - Used this for Miah's cough and it was amazing. Took her cough away VERY quickly, and helped her get a restless night sleep!

Those are all I can think of for now, but those are the major ones we keep on hand! :) I hope this helps if you're looking for a more natural approach to common complaints!!!

First things first

* Disclaimer: This blog is about how my husband and I are choosing to raise our 18 month old daughter, Miah. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE understand that this is JUST OUR EXPERIENCE and the way we choose to raise her may go against the grain of how you believe your child should be raised. I believe every parent knows whats best for their child, and I believe that there is more than one way to raise a child! We would NEVER judge parents for doing things differently than we do, just as we hope you would never judge us for doing things differently. This is OUR decision, and it is truly what we believe is best for our child! I am not claiming to be an expert in homeopathy, or attachment parenting. I am learning everyday. But I do A LOT of research constantly, and love to learn, so I figured i'd share some of my experiences with others!* 

________________________________________________________________________________

This blog is to discuss the way we are raising Miah. We, personally, are choosing to raise her naturally & treat any conditions homeopathically. What does that mean?

 ** - We feed her organic meats, dairy & produce. We do not give her highly processed foods. She eats a very simple diet full of fresh fruits & veggies, frozen veggies, granola, chicken, and dried fruits & veggies. Please, do not misunderstand me. She's a kid. We allow her to be a kid. She'll get treats, and if we go to a birthday party, she's eating cake! But we don't keep this stuff in our house to feed her on a regular basis.

** - If She has a fever or is sick, we don't run to the tylenol, benadryl, or ibuprofen. She is treated homeopathically first and is taken to her chiropractor. She also takes probiotics daily. In our experience, these things have worked wonderfully and tylenol is VERY rarely needed for her. 

We also choose to practice "Attachment parenting" and "Positive parenting". This is something we believe to be best for Miah and for us as parents. What does that mean?

** - We never let Miah cry it out. We believe every cry or negative expression is an expression of a need. When she starts to whine for something now that she's 18 months and talking a lot, we encourage her to use her words, and tell us what she would like. 

** - We respond quickly to her needs. 

** - We re-direct. When she asks for something she shouldn't have, or grabs something she shouldn't have, we ask her to give us what she's playing with, and we give her something else that she's allowed to play with. 

** - We don't spank. 

** - We don't yell. Don't get me wrong, she can push our buttons sometimes, but we truly try our best to talk to her, and not lose our cool! 

** - We don't do time outs. We don't think separating her from us and sitting her in a room by herself should be used as a punishment. 

** -We explain things to her, and talk to her when she is doing something she shouldn't. 

** - We carry her and hold her a lot. 

** - We still do skin to skin time when she's sick or having a bad day. It calms her quickly, and soothes her.

** - We co-sleep. This is a big one that people used to freak out about with us. We never planned to co-sleep. But one night when she was 5 months old, out of sheer exhaustion, I brought her into bed with me (Mike was at work), and we both slept better than we had since she was born! We took every precaution with co-sleeping. We took off all pillows & blankets and only had a tight fitted sheet on the bed. I moved her between me & a bumper instead of between me and mike, because Mike is a sound sleeper and didn't always feel/hear her. We also set the mattress on the ground so if she fell off she wouldn't get hurt. Miah snuggles with me for a majority of the night, and if she wakes up in the middle of the night, all I need to do is put my hand on her and she rolls into me and falls back asleep. A lot of people have said to me that I am damaging Miah in some way by sleeping with her, and that I am teaching her to not be independent. Personally, i DO NOT believe that at all. Medical research has shown many benefits of co sleeping. Such as: more regular temperatures in the child, regular heart rhythms, and fewer long pauses in breathing compared to babies who sleep alone . Also, they grow up with a higher self-esteem, less anxiety, become independent sooner, are better behaved in school , and are more comfortable with affection. 

Now that you have the basics....Please enjoy reading about our experiences, and our trial & error of being first time parents! :)